Bootnecks: Mainframe Troopers Chronicles
by Mayhem
Summary: A parody of another CG tv show "Roughnecks: Starship Troopers Chronicles"


Bootnecks: Mainframe Troopers Chronicles  
Episode One: Falling Over  
By Mayhem  
  
Author: We start our story with the team of Bootnecks in the Principal Office in Mainframe awaiting Lieutenant Turbo…  
Bob: Why does he get to be Lieutenant??  
Author (ignoring Bob): …and Sergeant Matrix…  
Bob: What!!!! But he's younger than me!! (begins to grumble and mutter under his breath some nasty things about the author)  
Author (still ignoring Bob):…to arrive to give them instructions on their first campaign. I'll introduce each character to you now so you can become familiar with the squad. First up we have Corporal Dot Matrix.  
Dot (waving to the audience): Hi. I'm Dot.  
Bob (rolls his eyes): Well, duh.  
(Dot, still smiling at the audience, moves over to Bob and promptly stomps on his foot.)  
Bob: YOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!  
Author (clearing her throat): Dot is essential to the squad as she is the medical officer so that makes her quite important. Over here we have Private Enzo Matrix. (Enzo grins and waves at the audience.) He's quite the young gun; ready for action and eager to please everyone on the squad. Unfortunately because he's short, he tends to get over-looked a lot.  
Enzo: I just wanted to say..  
Author: Moving along, we have Private Andr.. (author gets a nasty look from the young soldier) err.. Andi. (Andi gives the author a look as if to say 'That's better.'). Andi is Enzo's best friend and a very skilful manicurist.  
(Andi extends her very long nails to show the audience just how long and pointy they are.)  
Author: Next we have Private Ray Tracer, an all-out cool guy.   
(Ray gives a thumbs up gesture towards the audience, smiles and waggles his eyebrows suggestively.)   
Author: Ah… yeah.. well, anyway Ray has special telipi…telepe…. telephan… well he's psychic (the author smiles in triumph at being able to avoid that one). And that's definitely useful when you're facing nasty web creatures who don't… have…… minds…..   
(Ray and everyone else looks at the author who quickly moves onto the next introduction to avoid having to answer any questions about her obvious mistake)  
Author: Ah… okay and here we have Private T'Bula. (The author jumps in surprise at seeing the very large binome).  
T'Bula (waves her hand): Heh heh. Hellooo.  
Author: T'Bula is… um.. she's a pretty big… err… great soldier. Oh and look, here's Lieutenant Mouse! (Mouse winks at the audience and smiles). Originally the story was meant to go that Private Enzo and Lieutenant Mouse were to have a bit of a fling…  
Enzo (grinning): Hey hey!  
Mouse (screwing up her face): Ewww.  
Author: But since we want to keep this story relatively clean, we've decided not to put that into effect. You know, with the age-thing and all.  
(Mouse breathes a sigh of relief.)  
Author: Oh and over there is Private Mike. He's the reporter.  
Mike: On the nosey!! This reporter is ready to go where no reporter has gone before! We'll follow the exploits of this squad in their fight against nasty virals and evil web creatures! And…  
Bootnecks, Author and Audience: MIKE!!!!  
Author: Well, that's it, now we just have to wait for the two leaders of this squad…  
Bob (jumping up and down): Hey!!! What about me?? I'm here too! (gives the author a dirty look then looks at the audience and gives them a big grin) Hi everyone! I'm Bob. I'm really an almighty Guardian.. (the rest of the Bootnecks groan over Bob's egotistical comments) but for this story I'm just a humble Corporal. I'm important to the story too as I'm the tech… thingy.. guy.  
Dot: You're the technician.  
Bob: That's what I said! Anyway, I'm the main hero in the story and I get to battle all the nasty.. (the author clears her throat, signifying the end of his introduction but Bob continues to waffle despite no-one listening to him.)  
Author: Ah good! Here comes Turbo and Matrix now.  
Turbo (nodding his head to acknowledge the audience): Hello.  
(Matrix just glares at the audience and the author because she didn't include the grown-up AndrAIa in the story.)  
Author: Well I guess this is where the story starts!  
  
Turbo: Alright Bootnecks! We've got our first assignment. We're to go directly to the mirror and pass through into Wonderland where we'll meet up with a white rabbit and a young… girl…. named…….  
(All the Bootnecks look at Turbo with a puzzled look on their face. The Author suddenly reappears and quickly exchanges scripts with all the characters and apologises most profusely for the mix-up)  
Turbo (clearing his throat and quickly re-reading his line): Okay. Bootnecks! We've got our first assignment. We're to go directly to Floating Point where we're to meet up with Capacitor's Crew. They've managed to locate a possible entry point for these nasty web creatures that keep getting in and attacking the System. Our job is to close that portal down permanently. Any questions?  
Bob (raising his arm): Ahhhh….  
Turbo: Anybody else got any questions?  
(The other bootnecks shrug their shoulders or scratch their heads.)  
Bob (raising his arm up higher): Sir! I have one!  
Turbo (shaking his head and sighing heavily): Very well Corporal. What is it?  
Bob (with a genuine look of concern on his face): Do you think I'll get some close-ups when we start fighting the web creatures? Y'know, to show how hard I'm concentrating on blowing those…  
Turbo (putting his hand up to stop Bob from continuing his banter): Alright Bootnecks! Do you want to compile forever?!  
Bootnecks (except Bob): Yo!  
Turbo: Then let's move out!  
Bob: Y'know, if you can get the camera in close when I go for the kill, and there's web creature goo splattered all over me, it'll look really cool. And then…. (trails off as the Bootnecks board 'Ship' and Mouse pilots them out of the Principal Office's hangar and out to Floating Point Park.)  
  
Author: Floating Point Park. A wonderful, pretty sector where you can go and have a nice picnic or sit and relax under a tree, or play in the playground. You can even..  
Bootnecks & Audience: GET ON WITH IT!!  
Author:.. oh, ah yes. Ship arrives on the lower level of FPP where Capacitor's Crew are waiting.  
Capacitor: Ahoy there matey!  
Turbo: Ahoy Cap'n. Can ye tell us.. (shakes his head to get out of the pirate speak) Can you tell us where you found this web portal?  
Capacitor: Aye lad. It's just over there.  
(Capacitor points to a group of buildings about half a mile away from the Bootnecks just at the back of FPP. Turbo flicks his head and the special visor plops down from his helmet, allowing him to zoom in on specific areas. He notices a bright light coming from inside one of the buildings.)  
Bob: Cool! I didn't know these helmets could do that!! (he immediately flicks his head, but as his helmet is not equipped with the special visor, the helmet just flies off, knocking Dot over and landing on T'Bula's foot.)  
Bob (quickly grabbing his helmet off the ground): Ahh… yeah. Sorry Dot… T'Bula.  
Turbo (flicking his head once more to make the visor flip back over his helmet): Alright. It looks like there's a portal situated on the 12th floor of that building over there. (turning to Bob) Bob I need you to shut power down to this sector.  
Bob (saluting): Sir! Yes sir!  
Turbo: Matrix…  
Dot, Enzo, Matrix: Yes sir?  
Turbo (shaking his head): That Matrix (points to the grown-up Enzo)  
Matrix: Sir!  
Turbo: You, Dot and T'Bula cover our backs. Create a perimeter around this sector here (waves hand in general direction of the buildings) and make sure no web creatures get out.  
Matrix, Dot & T'Bula: Sir! Yes sir!  
Turbo: Enzo, Andi and Tracer, you're with me… (turns to Bob who hasn't moved yet) Bob. What are you doing?  
Bob(smiling at the audience):I'm… waiting for the right moment… sir!  
Turbo (getting rather cheesed off): Right moment!!! Whaddya mean right moment?!?? TURN THE POWER OFF IN THIS SECTOR NOW!!!!  
Bob(shifting from one foot to the other and looking down at the ground):I.. ah.. don't know how.  
Dot: Oh for crying out loud!!!  
(The other Bootnecks shake their heads in dismay.)  
Turbo (trying to calm down): Alright… fine. Contact Phong on your built in mike..  
Mike: Yes?  
Turbo (becoming annoyed again): Not you! That! (he points to the little bitty microphone that sticks out from Bob's helmet. The other Bootnecks suddenly notice that they have one too and begin testing and playing around with it.) Knock it off!!! (they immediately stop.) Use that to contact Phong and get him to shut down this sector. Got it?  
Bob: Sir, yes sir!  
Turbo (heaving a sigh of relief): Okay. When you've done that, join Sergeant Matrix and take up a position outside of the building. Lets move out….  
Mike: Ah.. sir?  
Turbo: What is it, Private?  
Mike: Where do I fit in to this plan?  
Turbo (sarcastically): You can stay right here and film it all. Okay?  
Mike: But..  
Turbo: Okay??!!  
Mike: Sir, yes sir!  
Author: Finally the Bootnecks move out. Matrix, Dot and T'Bula take up positions outside of the building while Turbo, Andi, Enzo and Tracer move inside. The building itself is quite dark apart from the little lights on the Bootnecks' helmets. Turbo signals to the others to follow him up the lift well which is conveniently vacated. In fact there's even a ladder attached to the walls of the lift well which they use to climb up to the twelfth floor. As they climb higher and higher, the lift well becomes lighter and lighter as they near the twelfth floor where the bright web portal is supposedly located. Turbo slows down at the last couple of meters and finally comes to a stop on the last rung below the doorway leading into the floor. He slowly pokes his head up to take a quick look and ducks down again.  
Turbo (speaking barely above a whisper, but as he's speaking into his mike, the other's can hear him quite clearly): We've got a couple of sentries outside of the portal. They're two drones and they're floating right in front of the portal.  
Enzo: Let me get 'em! I'll make sure they won't show their ugly faces here again. I'll..  
Turbo: Tracer, can you sense anything from them?  
Tracer (furrowing his brows in concentration): Nope.  
Turbo (sighing): Alright, we move in quickly. I'll take the one on the left. Tracer, you take the one on the right. Enzo and Andi, be prepared for anything that comes through that portal. Let's go!  
Author: The Bootnecks leap out of the lift well, which is quite amazing really considering that they're all on the ladder one above the other… but anyway, they manage to take the sentries by surprise and they secure the web portal.   
Turbo: Good job, Bootnecks. (puts his hand by his ear to switch on the mike even though it's on anyway) Bob, can you hear me?  
Bob: Yo!  
Turbo: Get your butt up here and shut this portal down.  
Bob: Sir, yes sir!  
Turbo (still speaking into the mike): Capacitor, this is Lieutenant Turbo.  
Capacitor: Aye lad!  
Turbo: Capacitor, we've secured the web portal for now. You might want to check around and see if there's any more around the area. They had this one secured with only a couple of drones, so no doubt there'll be another one nearby as a secondary entry.  
Capacitor: By the code! Do you really think so?  
Turbo (giving a puzzled look to the audience): Ah,… yeah, I really do.  
Capacitor: Alright then, lad, I'll get me men to take a scout around.  
Author: Bob finally arrives on the twelfth floor.  
Bob (huffing and puffing): Why… did…. it have…. to be the 12th?  
Turbo: Alright, Private, shut this port-hole down.  
Bob: Can I take a break first?  
(Turbo gives Bob a menacing look.)  
Author: Bob uses his special powers to shut down the web portal and prevent any web creatures from getting through. Everyone cheers. (the Bootnecks ignore the Author's last comment and remain silent except, of course, Bob.)  
Bob: Yay for me!!!  
Author: All of a sudden, Turbo gets a distress call from Matrix.  
(Bootnecks stand at the ready but all is silent.)  
Author: All of a sudden…. Turbo gets a distress call from MATRIX!  
Matrix: Sir! We've got incoming! Multiple bogies coming in from all directions!  
Turbo: Alright, Sergeant. Hold em down till we get there. (Turns to the others) Bootnecks! Ya wanna compile forever?  
Bootnecks: Yo!  
Turbo: Move out! Take up flanking positions when you hit the ground floor.  
Author: The Bootnecks race down to support their comrades. Outside the building, all hell has broken loose as two web portals have opened up in between the Bootnecks and Ship. Nasty web creatures are flying around everywhere, slamming into the building above the Bootnecks to create falling and flying debris. The Bootnecks retreat indoors and fire at the web creatures through the windows.  
Tracer: Sir! We're trapped!!!  
Turbo: Not on my watch we're not!! (turning to Bob) Bob, how about using those technical skills you're supposed to have to create a small bomb we can send through the portals?  
Bob: No problems! I'll need some… stuff from everyone though.  
Andi: Like what?  
Bob (scratching his head): Erm…. those little things on the back of your suit there.  
Turbo: You mean our power suit batteries.  
Bob: Yeah, that's what I said.  
Author: Everyone quickly takes the power cell out of their suits and hands them to Bob. Bob looks at the small collection he has and then begins working on them… I won't go into details though… it's very technical stuff.  
Bob: Tada!  
Turbo (puzzled): What's that?  
Bob: It's a bomb.  
Turbo: Then why is there chewing gum on it?  
Bob: Ahh… I ran out of that sticky stuff we use.  
Turbo (rolling his eyes): Fine. Just get it ready to send through one of the portals on my command.  
Bob: Er.. actually it's.. ah.. counting down already… sir.  
Turbo (shaking his head): How long?  
Bob: It's been running for 10 nanos…  
Turbo: No I mean, HOW LONG TILL IT GOES OFF!!!!!  
Bob: Oh! Um.. (looks intently at the odd-shaped device) in about 20 nanos.  
Turbo (speaking into his mike): Mouse, this is Turbo.  
Mouse: Sir!  
Turbo: Power up Ship and get ready to pick us up. We're coming through.  
Mouse: Yes sir!  
Turbo: Alright Bootnecks, as soon as that bomb goes off, it should disable one of the portals and give us a chance to get through to Ship. Compile forever, Sprites!  
Bootnecks: Yo!  
Turbo (turning to Bob): Alright Bob – let her rip!!  
Author: Bob throws the device into one of the portals which explodes and causes the portal to collapse on itself and disappear. Many web creatures are killed from the explosion and those that are coming out of the second portal are scattered. The Bootnecks quickly come out of the building, firing shots wildly all around them and race towards Ship which Mouse has powered up and moved closer to them. They jump on board and head back to the Principal Office, but not before Mouse drops a small bomb on top of the other portal, shutting it down.  



End file.
